People–they make us laugh, drive us crazy, bring us joy, frustrate us, support us and love us. Our relationships can be complicated, but they are what life is really all about. People are what matter the most. Not material possessions. Not awards. Not your bank account. You will be remembered by how you treated the people in your life.
Thank goodness we have a truly perfect example to learn from. Jesus called himself the “light of the world” in John 8:12. Everything he did pointed others to God. If we are also to shine our light for God, we must focus on how we treat people. Let’s look at what Jesus teaches us about the basics of relationships with others.
*Love them.
In Matthew 22:39, Jesus tells us the second greatest commandment is to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We are to love God first, and people second.
How can we love people well? When we look at how Jesus loved others, we see these attributes of his love:
- He showed others grace.
- He was generous to them.
- He demonstrated confidence in people.
- He was patient.
- He kept his promises.
- He encouraged others.
- He shared meals with them.
- He welcomed people who were different from him into his presence.
Our sinful selves will never live up to Jesus’ perfect example, but we can aim for it. We can apologize when we fail and keep trying. We can study how he treated others and consider how we can grow in his likeness.
We can obey when God asks us to show love to someone.
*Help them.
In Matthew 25:35-36, Jesus says, “For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.” In verse 40, he says, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
Jesus showed deep compassion for others and helped people at every opportunity. When we see a need, we are to act–whether it’s a stranger or someone close to you. We may not be able to perform miracles like Jesus, but we can be there to listen to a friend or serve a meal at a homeless shelter.
I am always so deeply moved by the kindness of people after a disaster occurs. I love how their goodness pours out through their helping hands. What if we lived with this mindset all of the time, instead of only after a tragedy? What if we helped people at every opportunity, like Jesus did?
We can help where God calls us.
*Forgive them.
Forgiveness is a choice, but it can be a very difficult one. It’s an intentional act of letting go of the anger or resentment you hold against someone.
In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus tells us, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you agree with the person’s wrong, or like them, or will let them back into your life (although you may). Forgiveness is about your heart. It’s about removing the darkness inside of you and setting yourself free. It’s about releasing the burdensome weight that another person’s sin has on your life.
Forgiveness is about your heart.
God may be directing you to have a conversation with someone about forgiveness in order to rebuild the relationship or provide closure. But sometimes we can’t have a conversation with the person we need to forgive, or they don’t ask for forgiveness. In that instance, you could picture the person and have the conversation in your mind.
People are going to commit wrongs against us, just as we commit them against others. No one is perfect. If you cannot forgive someone in your own strength, ask God for His peace and strength to forgive them.
We can forgive as God calls us to do, in order to move forward and have healthy relationships.
*Don’t criticize them.
Jesus acknowledged sin, but didn’t condemn people. Following his lead, we should not arrogantly criticize others for their actions.
In John 8, when a woman was caught in adultery, her accusers wanted to stone her to death. They humiliated her and brought her before Jesus to ask what he thought should be done to her. He said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone,” and then he waited as everyone else left. Instead of stoning her, he told her, “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
We should humble ourselves and show compassion instead of judging, criticizing or condemning others when they sin. Jesus believed people could change and do better. He was not haughty or arrogant. He did not gossip or cause shame. He spoke honestly and encouraged others to live better.
We can use our words and actions to build people up instead of to criticize.
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Jesus loved people so well. Thankfully, we have His perfect example to look towards and His spirit to draw strength from. We can’t control how others behave or treat us, but we can control what we say and do. No matter our past, we can choose to love, help, forgive, and not criticize the people that God places in our lives.
What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered after you are gone? Be that person, starting today.
Lord, we thank you for the people you have placed in our lives. We ask for wisdom, patience and humility as we interact with them. Guide us as we strengthen, prune and develop our relationships. Please help us to obediently prioritize our relationship with you first and subsequently love others better. Amen.
